Physical Pain Summary

1956 Age 2, Fell down outside Grandmother's house and split my left nostril open, leaving me with a half-inch scar.

1959: Age 5. Measles and German measles together; almost fatal.

1960: Age 6. Mumps. Chicken Pox. Was hit in the mouth by a children's playground swing, whilst someone was on it at full swing. Lifted me off the ground and broke a tooth.

1961: Age 7. Mumps again. Very rare to get it twice. Hit on head with a large rock, thrown (or rather pushed into the air) by John Sanderson. It split my head open on the crown of my head. My face covered with blood.

Had my right index finger pinned to a dartboard. The dartboard was on the ground. I went to pick up the darts as a 'friend' threw another without me noticing. The dart went through my nail and finger, and pinned it to the board.

1962: Age 8. Diagnosed with lazy left eye. Had to wear prescription glasses with a patch over my left eye for a year. Looked a right Dork!

LESSON: At school, the Optician doesn't usually see children until the age of 7/8. By that time, many of the eye problems are irreversible. Opticians recommend you take your children for eye tests at the age of 5 years. Had my parents known that, my lazy left eye would have been corrected. I've lived my whole life with extremely poor vision through my left eye.

1963: Age 9. Accident on a bicycle. Severe cut to eyebrow above left eye. 7 stitches without anaesthetic. Incredible pain!

Cut open knee on jagged edge of rock. Needed 2 stitches.

Diagnosed with poor hearing, due to build up of wax. Had my ears syringed at hospital. This practice has been withdrawn now, because of the damage it did to the ear. Today they fit a grommet into the ear to help release the wax. Left with less than perfect hearing in left ear.

Diagnosed with flat feet. Hereditary from my mother's side. Fallen arches. Had to wear in-steps in my shoes. Two bus rides every time we went to Sheffield Childrens’ hospital; many times, with an average 4 hour wait in the hospital. Tried many different types of in-steps which failed. Even broke Nickel Silver in-steps.

1965: Age 11. Operation to correct flat left foot. "Extra articular arthrodesis of left subtalar joint." This was Dr. Sharrard's radical operation, which was only performed a few times. It left me crippled, with a fused foot. I've suffered with it ever since.

1966: Age 12. Beaten up by school bully, two years older than me. Kneed in groin. Balls like footballs.

Crashed push bike at around 20 mph; flat out down a steep hill. Took a left hand bend, only to find spilt gravel on the road. Ripped up all the left hand side of my left leg and hip. Blood everywhere.

1967: Age 13. Fell thirty feet down a steep hillside and broke the ball and socket off my right shoulder.

That same school field trip was run by a homosexual, who accosted over 20 young boys on the field trip; including me.

1969: Age 15. Twisted right knee badly, needing crutches.

1970: Age 16. Diagnosed with 'Itchy arse'. Dad suffered from piles. This was the nearest thing to it. Suffered with it most of my life until I started using wet-wipes in 1998.

Tonsillitis.

Beaten badly outside school by old school-leaver 'rockers'. Kneed badly in the groin; again.

Fractured knuckle joint on little finger of right hand in a fight with John Hubbard. Fractured it on his jaw.

1971: Age 17. Impaled my right shin on a steel fence post; the type that have vertical spears. I was running from college to catch a bus. There was a foot of snow on the ground. I jumped over a wall. I couldn't see the remains of demolition because of the snow. I impaled my right leg on the spear. My friend had to help me pull my leg away from the spear.

Stood on a sea urchin in the sea off Arenal, Majorca. One of the locals had to suck the spines oot of the ball of my right foot, before the poison took effect.

Same holiday; got beaten up by 8 Spanish (Majorcan) youths, who were picking fights with English tourists. My two friends ran off. I stood my ground; and got beaten. Ended up with a slightly swollen eye and a fat lip.

Crashed Vespa motor scooter into back of car at 30 mph. Got catapulted into the air, over the car, bounced off the front bonnet (hood) and skidded down the road in front of the car. Badly scraped and bruised.

Crashed scooter into the back of a coach and damaged right shoulder along with bruises and scrapes from sliding down the road.

Crashed scooter several times and grazed legs in many places.

1973: Age 18. Damaged right heel in Karate. Needed crutches initially and then heel support to this day.

Got knocked out in Karate competition... literally. Only out for about 5 seconds. Got kicked on right side of face.

Caught 'shingles' due to all exercise and little nutrition. Forced to give up exercise for 6 months.

1976: Age 22. Was on my stag night with 21 friends. The alcohol got out of hand. I drank 6 pints of lager and then we moved onto vodka and bitter lemon. All 21 friends told me they'd got me at least two vodkas each. We did a count. I'd downed 61 vodkas. First time in my life I'd been blind drunk. Couldn't even see the two friends who were holding me up to walk around (Glyn Booth and Glyn Cartwright). Got alcoholic poisoning. Lucky to survive.

1978. Age 24. NSU. Non specific urethritis. Later in 1990 to be discovered treatable and named Chlamydia Still suffer the psychological a neurological scarring to this day.

1979: Age 25. Operation in hospital: anal stretch.

Had cyst surgically removed from left calf.

1980: Age 26. Hit in face with squash racket, accidentally in a competition. Needed 5 stitches in eyebrow.

1981: Age 27. Urticaria on head and shoulders due to light sensitivity from tetracycline taken for NSU.

Diagnosed with peptic ulcer of the stomach.

1982: Age 28. Broke three ribs whilst being hit by another bike, racing moto-cross bikes.

Concussion twice; crashed moto-crossing.

1983: Age 29. Cracked two ribs moto-crossing.

1984: Age 30. Concussion moto-crossing. Gravel rash in right forearm in a motocross crash. Still have 'blue' scars.

Badly trapped fingers moving huge rocks for rockery. They were that big you could only get one in a wheelbarrow. Crushed the end of my left wedding finger so that it split at both sides. Had to have the nail surgically removed.

1985: Age 31. Fractured wedding finger at Karate. Slipped on ice. Fell backwards and tried to support myself with my elbows. Fell flat on my back and chipped the bone in my right elbow.

1986: Age 32. More tests for skin sensitivity due to tetracycline. Fracture left big toe playing volleyball in Gran Canaria.

1987: Age 33. Snapped my right Achilles tendon on squash court. Needed surgery to re-attach it.

1989: Age 35. Big fast crash on a Jet Ski at 40 mph. Ripped my arms out of my shoulders. Damaged tendons. Needed cortisone injections for the pain.

Mild hernia from over-extension climbing down a rope-net used for obstacle courses.

1990: Age 36. Chondomalacia of right knee. Needed arthroscopy and steroid injections.

Big crash on motocross bike. Fell from 25-foot high jump. Badly bruised up the right leg from knee, up right hand side of waist, up right hand side of back to shoulder, across right hand side of stomach, right down to right hand side of penis and right testicle. Not a pretty sight.

Fracture right wrist in motocross crash.

1991: Age 37. Had cyst surgically removed from behind left ear.

1993: Age 39. Car crash. 72 mph joint collission speed. Head on crash. Car pulled out in front of me. In intensive care for a week. Surgery to rebuild face and teeth. Wore a titanium frame round the front of my head, drilled into my forehead and connected to my jaw to wire it closed for 5 weeks.

1999: Age 45. Crashed a racing bike at Cadwell Park at 90mph. Bike landed on top of me and ground my knee into the tarmac. Had a 'wet' wound for 12 weeks.

6 days later I was racing again at Donington Park, all strapped up with the wet wound on my right knee. Crashed at the Melbourne loop at 40 mph. Dented my pride. Concusses for 5 seconds.

2002: Age 48. Vasectomy. Performed and completed in less than 20 minutes. The anaesthetic didn't have time to take effect. Felt every cut in my scrotum.

2003: Age 49. Ruptured right calf muscle trying to get fit.

2004: Age 50. Ruptured left Achilles tendon trying to get fit.

Badly burned left hand whilst 'fuelling' a bonfire. Face and hair caught fire. Lost eyebrows and eyelashes. Had to have skin on back of left hand surgically removed.

2005: Age 51. Crashed Enduro (Motocross) bike and broke right leg. Broke tibia at base near ankle. Worst possible place for healing time. Also damaged many other parts of the foot, which were crushed. In plaster for 6 weeks. Took six months for most of recovery.

Damaged wedding finger catching an American football, thrown by Brett. Swelled up badly. Almost had to cut wedding ring off.

Ripped calf muscle on left leg, trying to get fit.